FOCUS: THINGS TAKEN FOR GRANTED

Photo taken from COLLEGIUM
 Photo by : Zarrita Jel Pajes

It has been 3 months since the last post I did in this blog. I know there are a lot of interesting things and events to write about. But, somehow those 3 months froze my scribbling skills deep down in Tartarus.

For the past months, I've been struggling to find my FOCUS. I've been on the verdict of some kind. I had to make deadlines, passed the exams. And you what's worst? I had to find my missing self. The core of my FOCUS.

Someone told me that I have changed a lot for the past 3 years of my college life. I asked what was the change she's talking about. And she said that I am no longer  that  competitive. She even further stated that since I met my best friends, I became lax and letting the others take home the beacon. Of course I was startled of what info struck me. But, it was the pain of my lost goal lingers up to the very present. I asked my self, WHAT HAVE I LOST?  A soundless echo pop into my mind- MYSELF. Yes, I lost myself. The one who is hungry for victory, thirsty for success and goal-driven LORENZ.

After a while, I answered her back. I said, they are not the reason I became less competitive. I chose to be one because I think I'm not smart enough. I can't fool myself every single time that I am the smartest student in the campus. So I chose to wake myself from its stupid reverie.

So I chose to be out of focus...

Later on, I realized about what I did. I gave up on myself from believing I could be achieve something I had worked for too long. I lost track of time which leads me to unproductive years.

But now, I am looking for myself to return again. Hoping that this new start I'm going to take will lead me to my true self. My FOCUSED SELF. Albeit, these need time. Long time.

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